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The Tryst Between History and Memory : Ashaq Hussain Parray

Ashaq Hussain Parray is a poet and translator from the valley of Kashmir. He is currently pursuing his doctoral studies at the Department of English, Aligarh Muslim University India. His poems and translations have appeared in various journals including The Inverse Journal, The Punch Magazine and Kashmir Lit. 

I am tied to the bonnet of history riding fast 

on the roads built over the bones of my ancestors 

A bird flying high over my head falls down dead 

shot by the accurate fire, a hiding sniper fired; 

As I parade through the blood canals of past 

Smoke and dust slap my eyes; 

If only the Gods were kind to us─ in this slaughterhouse 

Of ailing minds, of marked bodies; of wounded souls; 

Hush! Where is that sound coming from? 

Must be the dawn of darkness cracking past 

the despair of hope wandering where the light flew 

into a gorge of sorrows that defy human intellect; 

There is an art to darkness, of darkness; one that grows into 

A heart of hope without flaws tied to my existence; 

If only we were kind to us─ in this amnesiac life 

Of killing with joy, of bartering sorrows, of dealing with the dead. 

Hope is a thing past when history defies your memory; 

Hope is a thing lost when memory defies your history; 

The present leaves us smitten, the steel insects of time 

bite us while we grope to awake; 

There is an art to darkness; one that grows dark 

into memory exposed like a dandelion head 

that grows into my lawn; I was never the gardener 

Of my lawn; the records prove it neither; 

History tied me to a bonnet; I am sailing through 

life of un-forgiveness; of rushing to the judgement 

Despite the scriptural warning; “thou shall not judge.”

 Am I wrong if I stake claim to my body? 

Am I wrong if two roads don’t divulge in my case? 

And I have no choice to make! 

I stay gazing like the ancient human worried; 

Shocked; dazzled by the too much of history; 

History be kind to my memory; memory be kind to my history 

The two can meet and have lunch together; 

Who denied us lunch together? ─ In rain, 

through snow; in wind; through fog! 

We could be kind to each other; 

And seek refuge in a lunch together ─ where 

I make no claim to sit on a chair while the attendant 

Waits for my call; where the bill that I pay 

Does not hurt his eyes; 

History- be kind to us; Memory- be kind to us. 

 

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